This morning I find myself reflecting on the grotesque splendor of 2012. It has sunk so low and soared so high that my perception of existence has shifted, and the potentialities of output and feeling and love have evolved. Its as if the last 12 months occurred only to get me to the place I am now, and that is a beautiful thing. Truth is beauty is pain is wisdom. Through it all, I remember so plainly blundering forward, putting my head down and plowing through the wreckage like a juggernaut when it would have been so easy to turn around and walk away. Three hundred and sixty five days ago I was riding a ferry through the Caribbean to a small island for a NYE event. I remember how fantastical and profound the event was, how happy the people were, and how unable I was to fully appreciate it because of the darkness lurking inside me – this can not be so in 2013, and I pledge today, Decmeber 31st, 2012, that I will let nothing stop me from living this ephemeral life to its fullest. That does not mean that I will not suffer – on the contrary, Oh the sufferings I will endure! I challenge you, neutral and inhuman world, bring your worst, carry your finest weapons to the banquet of tomorrow and I will duel you with relentless defiance to the end of days! My cup floweth over.
Cheers to you twisted world, my worthy adversary and fickle muse.
Words for the new year:
All of these will be verbs.